yobech505

Can’t tattle on others.  Only vouch for who I am and who my friends really are.  This one involves my Junior High School and first year of high school ‘steady’, that term we used back in those days.  The conversation was adult and I thought to myself, I am much more mature now.  That was decades ago. Truth telling,  I’m probably only partly more mature.

We’ve been in touch, friends since, well, decades.  We’ve never really ‘dated’ since those olden days as every time she was single, I was married and vice versa.  Not that it would have melded into something, but who the hell knows. We’re still close, trade relationship gab with one another and talk pretty fearlessly.  

It was our most recent encounter, as we met at the wind brushed deck where the barista provided beverage at our favorite yuppie gathering place, allowing this inquisitive event to take the auspices of shape.

“So, you sound serious.”  It was more a question than a statement.  “At least that’s what I’m hearing from you.”  She settled a little in the chair.  Obviously, she was patient.

I took a breath. “You managed to figure that out?” I chuckled a short one. “Wow. I’m impressed. Like, Duh?”

“So if my hubby runs off with a 25 year old Ukranian woman and leaves me, you’re saying you won’t be available?” She delivered the question with her arms folded across her chest.

I was ready.  “For you or the Ukrainian woman?”

“Very funny.  What if she doesn’t speak any English?”  She waited for a response and, still crossing her arms, tapped a foot.  I didn’t say anything.  Continuing, “What is it about her?  More than you’ve already told me?”

“I could tell you but she’s top secret. I’d have to kill you.” I knew by her look she was aware I was pushing used humor. “I don’t know how to fully identify it, but it’s special. Like having your heart touched from the inside.”

“Oh.”  I’m pretty sure she didn’t quite know what to say so I gave her a moment. “Don’t know that I’ve ever experienced that.  May have alluded to it when we were in high school but, back then, it was all weird.”  She laughed as she shook her head.

This was my cue, but I didn’t want to say too much.  I wasn’t sure she would comprehend what I was getting at.  Not weird.  “Different.  That’s about all I can say.  And new, at least to me.  Around her, it’s like we’re ‘in touch’, we feel and understand each other.  Sort of.”  That last comment was to soften the explanation category without the risk of her practical and rational side triggering further conversation aimed at how crazy I was.

She sensed my tension.  “You know I love you.  My only concern is, does she fit?  Is she cool with you, and the opposite, are you in synch with her?” 

“It certainly feels like it.”  She dropped her arms, picked up her coffee, holding the cup to her lips while she waited for me to continue.  “I love you too.  But yes.  Add to that, we seem to really enjoy the same things.”  

“Okay.”  There was a touch of a math teacher in her voice.  “Here’s the question.”  She planted her eyes towards my face.  “Do  you love her?”

“I thought that was pretty obvious, given our many conversations.”  My tone was level, delivered to an equal. 

“Given.”  Her voice was smiling.  “Now, answer this.”  The pause was longer.  So was the stare.  “Are you IN love with her?”

“I don’t know.”  My voice softened.  “But I want to be.”