The Tao of YoBech:
Original quotes of Birthday advice
1. When life hands you lemons, save them because they can be used to prevent scurvy.
2. If you ever find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
3. Love every day like it’s your last day on earth because eventually it will be.
4. Respect ghosts. They were people once too.
5. If the cheese is green, don’t eat it.
6. Be nice. It’s just better than the alternatives
7. If your haircut really sucks, wear a hat.
8. Water, at the top of the hill, will find it’s way to the bottom.
9. Don’t slap anyone who has a mouth full of food
10. Be kind to orangutans.
11. Spur a horse and he’ll jump off a cliff. Spur a mule and he’ll look at you like you’re crazy.
12. Sometimes it’s just okay to be stubborn.
13. When it’s time to wake up, hit the snooze button
14. Wear your kindness with pride
15. Don’t be afraid to give. Don’t be afraid to receive. Pass it on when you can
16. Wear white at night unless you’re trying to hide.
17. The best response to stupid drivers is to smile.
18. Home fire drills at 3am is the best way to get rid of unwanted guests.
19. The fishermen had a good day. The fish didn’t.
20. Whiskey won’t cure warts but when you’re finished experimenting, you won’t care.
21. Watching a rival slip on a banana peel is funny.
22. If you think what you’re doing is stupid, stop doing it.
23. If God is experiencing PMS, you don’t want to piss her off.
24. Make enough to get what you need, be frugal, then get what you want.
25. Let the horse wear the saddle.
26. The last place you want to be during a flood is in the water.
27. Don’t marry for money, although that’s a nice perk
28. If it is funny, feel free to laugh
29. Don’t argue with a brick. You can’t win.
30. It’s a woman’s prerogative.
31. It’s okay to turn off your cell phone every once in a while
32. Nothing beats the blues like a good cup of coffee
33. Make sure the train ain’t comin’ when you cross the tracks
34. Opinions are like smelly armpits after a work out. Everybody has a couple of them.
35. Trust the weather, not the weatherman.
36. The more birthdays you count, the more you’ll have.
Tao 2
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37. Women are gaining. Always a misunderstood step ahead of men, they are learning, growing, working towards equality and with some confidence, perhaps even a touch of superiority. But if, as they grow, they continue to make the same stupid mistakes the men who came before them did, it won’t matter much, will it?
38. I’ll take the real cow manure over the stuff I get from politicians. It smells a little worse but at least you can get things to grow with it.
39. If my ego bothers other folks, then it is not my ego problem, it’s theirs
39. Hard work pays off. Unless somebody finds a way around it and thus, finishes before you do.
40. Pick up trucks got airliners beat all to hell.
41. You know I love you, but sometimes you can be a real bitch.
42. What woman doesn’t enjoy spending money? What man doesn’t?
43. How often are we where we should not be, at least by someone’s standards, doing what we probably should not be doing, by that same criteria. And we are judged and sometimes condemned, often so hat we do not know. Yet we continue.
44. I know people who are like redwood trees. Beautiful, strong in place. But to really move, to really get away from where they feel safe, they have to become someone’s fence. Fine for them. Nothing wrong with that at all. I’m sure it has its advantages. I would rather be a tumbleweed.
45. I’ve never really cared whether the road goes right or left, or even straight ahead. Jus so long as it goes…somewhere.
46. My friend and I were discussing what we considered to be ideal, perfect mates. Then we thought, what about who we were? We just laughed and changed the subject.
47. I really miss the way you used to be in love with me.
48. Oh that sly smile of yours. It tells me there’s an adventure coming. I can’t wait.
49. It’s nice to know that even when you aren’t here, you toothbrush is.
50. “Extreme thought is required prior to any decisions involving love. Don’t assume. Be sure. You love will be true and long-lasting.” What a crock of shit! Did you ever know anybody who could do that? Love is just plain irrational!
yobech505 
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